Lots of breastmilk. Lots of cuddles. Lots of going out. Lots of songs. Lots of fruit. Lots of laugh. Lots of walks. Lots of stories.

Lots of love.

Lord, make me holy, but not yet. Lord, make me moderate but not yet…

One day the right time comes when I finally will have enough of the pleasures and start looking for something more.

Maybe that day is today. Yet.

I guess this is what Jesus came to tell us and then He confirmed it the way He lived and by what He was doing.

That we should not judge people, that we should not worry about food or clothes, that we should be honest when we pray or help others. That we should serve God, not money…

What do these words actually mean? Who is God? Who should we serve? And how?!

Even though I thought my search for the meaning or purpose of life would end after my first daughter was born, now, after nearly a year, the same questions are starting to come up.

What is the best way to serve God? Is it enough that I just care for my little one and cook some dinner for my hubby? Or is it more about the attitude I have, about love and joy when doing my daily tasks?

Because I feel that life without prayer seems to be empty. And maybe insecure – I do need God’s help. I need support from somebody who knows how things really are and who knows their meaning, because I don’t.

I need to slow down and to listen to myself and to others. And to God.

And she was playing. On her own. Rolling balls, looking at books, chewing the teether.

I stopped doing my stuff a few times and looked at her. She smiled. I smiled back. We were both quiet. Got back to doing our stuff.

It’s hard to play whole day long. It’s easy for a baby. I just sometimes need lazy days like today. Just sitting beside her, doing nothing. Thinking about life.

I wish she would go much farther than I did – in love, joy and happiness. I wish she understands life better than me, I wish that she is more successful at living a full and happy life.

Will I be showing her things? Can I teach her anything? What more do I actually know than she does? I won’t be able to explain what life is about or why we are here.

Should I tell her about things as I see them? Or should she build her own picture? She will, anyway.

It’s great watching her grow. What she seems to be doing all the time is just having fun. Where did I stop doing that? When in my life all that sense of duty kicked in? When did I start to ‘learn’ instead of ‘playing’ all the time?

She has turned my husband’s laptop screen upside-down which I still don’t know how to do. She can turn on the hi-fi and listen to music. And that seems to really please her.

Lesson from today: stop being a ‘mother’ and start having more fun every day. Laugh at silly things and dance around and sing in the park when nobody is watching. Well, hopefully…

Thanks for the walk in the park, thanks for those few quiet moments to relax, thanks for the song.

Thanks for learning that I am just a small piece of the world. Thanks that I’m not perfect. Thanks for the opportunity to discover new things every day.

Thank You for this simple day, yet so significant and important.

I can listen, I can watch, I can smell… I can share and grow. And I can pray to that Mysterious One, without Whom I was trying to live for a while. Well, it wasn’t living, it was more like suffering.

You are back in my life again. Welcome, You, whose name I still don’t know. But I can’t live without You.

Every single breath is extremely precious. And I’ve wasted so many of them. I let myself to be mislead by things that offer short-lived pleasures. I bought into all those indulgences.

Let’s let the past that was harmful disappear and let’s focus on this moment. This breath. And the next one.

Holding the baby You gave me, I want to be that perfect mother. I want to fight again with myself and I want to win Your holiness for me. Another beginnig, another step. With You.

Thank You for the gift of today.

The Tree couldn’t have chosen the place where It would spend Its whole life. It was the busiest street in town; lots of cars passing by every minute of the day, and night. The air was bad, the street was dirty and people around were absolutely ignorant towards the Tree.

No birds to nest in the Branches, no peace, just the noise and stress from the traffic. But the Tree was Alive. It was growing.

The Tree was Real. It never complained. Every day, It was watching what was happening around. Its whole life were the cars and the pollution. But the Tree was Happy.

It was stretching out Its Branches towards the Sky (everywhere, there is a Sky) and it was Beautiful. It was Its Beauty in the midst of such a horrible place that made me get closer and touch the Tree.

It felt so lively. The Tree was talking to me. I could feel Its Words in my trembling fingers as I was placing my hands on Its skin. The very thing the Tree had to say was ‘I’m happy. I love. I Live.’

The Tree was Real. It was Alive.

…When I was passing by that place again in about three years, I was shocked to see the Tree wasn’t there anymore – they had cut It down because the junction got even busier and more space was needed.

I could see Its strong Roots and a few Branches left at the side of the road. That was Its whole life. The stupid nasty road. But the Tree was Happy.

And I still can hear Its quiet Song in my ears.

Today I stopped asking who He is because I can see He is the One who manifested Himself in Nature. And we are part of nature, even though we’re trying to deny it.

Some people speak about the law of attraction. Well, I would simply call it the law of Love.